Hi Mum, I’m in Chengdu (and Xi’an)

Oh Chengdu, you were the shining light in our itinerary. We had spent many happy hours speculating about what a giant Dainty Sichuan restaurant you were going to be. So why the fuck did I get gastro there the day I arrived!? It’s not fair.

We arrived in Chengdu in the morning, after two days spent on the train and were both eager to hunt down some ma la (that’s the signature Sichuanese combination of hot and numbing) food. We even went so far as to walk in to a local Carrefour and inhale over the huge mounds of Sichuan pepper sitting there. It’s a bit sad I know, but all our fellow Dainty Sichuan devotees/junkies will understand. That night, we had planned to meet up with a Canadian girl, living in Chengdu, who writes a blog on local food and go out for a mouth-numbing and ring-of-fire inducing hot pot. Sadly for me, it wasn’t to be. I’d begun a to feel a bit off colour during the afternoon and tried napping it off, but by the time we were walking across town to the restaurant things were looking bad. We arrived at the restaurant, and as much as I really, really, really wanted to want to eat, the overpowering smells of chilli, pepper and meat made my stomach turn in an ominous way. So I headed for the safety of bed with its proximal porcelain. Apparently the hot pot was amazing. So it goes. I should add that I did get to try the hot pot on our last night in Chengdu, and it was amazing. Hot to the point of chilli sweats and disconcertingly numbing, but a simmering pot of gold that makes everything that goes in come out delicious.

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By the afternoon of the next day, I was prepared to face the strenuous activities on offer at the Wenshu Monastery and, more specifically, its teahouse. These included: drinking tea, having your teacup refilled, drinking tea and watching old people playing cards, drinking tea and having their ears cleaned by roving excavators. The pace of life in Chengdu, while a big city (about 11m people), is very laid back and this place was typical of that – people just seem to spend their days hanging out. It was the perfect place to convalesce.

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That night, I was ready for some good local cuisine. We asked the girls at the hostel where we could get some good ma po doufu – one of our Dainty favourites and usually a good source of chilli and Sichuan pepper. They recommended the place down the road and we arrived with high hopes. We ordered the ma po along with some fish-flavoured eggplant and were disappointed to find a lack of heat in both dishes. Something was wrong. We later realised that we’d forgotten to specify that we wanted the dishes spicy – the default position at restaurants in Asia is to remove all traces of chilli whenever they see a white face. This was a mistake we didn’t repeat.

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Our third day, we were off to see Chengdu’s other tourist attraction – Pandas (aka China’s diplomatic weapon of choice). There isn’t much to say about them except for the fact that they’re incredibly cute. I think the photos say it best. We were lucky that we arrived early, as got to see the pandas in action and they tend to spend the rest of the day asleep after consuming their body weight in bamboo.

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That afternoon, we had another crack at getting some good food into us, and we hit the jackpot, using our Dainty Sichuan menu as an aid to my rudimentary Chinese. The result was three dishes that were hot, numbing and oh so delicious. I could go on and on about how good they were, but that would be cruel. Feeling smug with our discovery, we headed back to our hostel to sleep off our food babies, but our joy was short lived. Amanda had started to feel a bit off colour. So began another round of bed rest and tea house convalescence.

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Our combined days laid up in bed and our tender stomachs put paid to our plans to both eat obscene amounts of Sichuanese food and also to visit the nearby town of Langzhong, but that’s the way things go. The food we did try fell both sides of the benchmark set by our beloved Dainty Sichuan – I have to say that while the Melbourne version holds up pretty well againt its Chengdu counterparts, the local version still wins by a few lengths. Chengdu also boasts a few “Sichuanified” snacks that I wish we could get at home. The first is Lay’s “Numb & Spicy Hot Pot Flavor” chips. These bags of awesomeness are seriously addictive and do an impressive rendition of the actual hot pot taste. If you ever see them, buy them. The second was McDonalds’ “ma la chicken burger”. We had to try this burger (for research purposes only, of course). And you should feel lucky that we tried it so that you don’t have to. The burger does have some hot and numbing flavour, but it tasted really artificial and came with the latent regret that only McDonalds can deliver.

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Having done Chengdu, we decided to make a 36-hour stopover in Xi’an on our way through to Beijing. Xi’an was a whirlwind stop of delicious muslim Chinese food, a drunken evening out with the population of our hostel making dumplings and visiting a local nightclub, and a hungover trip out to the terracotta warriors. The excavated warriors were an awe-inspiring sight, even through our whisky haze, and were our first taste of the massive scale on which Chinese imperial monuments are constructed. If we’d known how much we would enjoy Xi’an, we probably would have spent an extra couple of days there; however, as we were getting toward the big May Day holidays, we needed to book all our travel in advance. Oh well, there’s always next time…

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